The walk and talk
It's gorgeous outside.
Bobby and I do weekly check-ins with each other, and sometimes we do it in the form of a "walk and talk". This is where we'd go on a 1-2 mile walk around our neighborhood on a Saturday, checking out the houses and the wildflowers in bloom. The weather in Sacramento has been absolutely perfect this past week, which is sadly often short-lived. Soon, it will be hotter than hell.
How these check-ins go depends on what's going on in our lives. Sometimes, I'll spend my entire part of it talking about work and whatever may be stressing me out. Sometimes, I don't have anything to say other than the fact that I'm doing fine. It made me think recently about my 20's in Los Angeles. Having all my friends there and practically none here in Sacramento is quite a contrast to how my free days have been these days.
In Los Angeles, my friends and I liked to "walk and talk," as well as "sit and talk," and definitely "drive and talk". We were watching the latest season of Black Mirror and the episode "Eulogy" had a lot of scenes examining the main character's younger self situated in house parties.
"Aw," I said. "I'm kinda sad that part of my life is over."
"Yeah, it was fun," Bobby said.
On Tuesday, Bobby turns 40. So I'm thinking about aging and youth a lot these days.
Then I started to think about what has replaced house parties and afternoons in cafes for me. I enjoy spending time with our little nieces and nephews, which we luckily get to do a lot now that we live here. I also love the opportunities we get to hang out with Bridget, Bobby's mom. And then of course, there's my life in San Francisco when I'm working that feels like a totally separate thing and I'm enjoying the community I have there as well.
I guess there will always be some melancholy involved when thinking about "the old days". But I also remember the struggles of my 20's like being broke, feeling hopeless in weird relationships, and lacking self-confidence in my career. I wouldn't want to relive any of it.
There's a weird sort of freedom that I gained once I turned 30, which prompted so many big changes in my life. I just woke up and realized I was in control of my own life. Wow. I don't do anything that I don't want to anymore. And I'm very precious with my time and how I spend it. I could definitely be on my phone less though. Working on that.
"I just don't feel like I need to prove myself to anyone anymore," I told Bobby during yesterday's walk. "Now I want to get other things in my life in order."